So Long Self

The Battle Within

Somewhere in time, November 10, 1988, I married my husband Bill.  This week we had some time off work and we took a few days to get away.  It was fun and we went to the zoo and did some walking.  One of my husband’s favorite CD’s to listen to when we travel is the Mercy Me Tenth Anniversary greatest hits CD.  They have a song called, “So Long Self.”  I am not sure how long the song has been out, but we have owned this CD for quite a while.  The message of the song is a fun reminder that our human nature is sinful and we battle against this to choose God’s nature and not our own selfish nature.

The chorus of the song is as follows:  So long self, well it’s been fine, but I have found somebody else.  So long self, there’s just no room for two so you are going to have to move.  So long self, don’t take this wrong, but you are wrong for me, farewell, oh well, goodbye, don’t cry.

I like the song, it is pretty fun, but I don’t think we often realize we are in a war.  We live in a world that constantly pulls at us to give in to our human nature and not the nature God gives us.   I know in my life, I deal with this battle every pay date.  Money is not a bad thing and it certainly helps to pay bills and buy food, but when I have extra, what is my first inclination?  That is the war between the flesh and the spirit.  My first inclination is what I can get for me.  I have a coupon for Kohl’s etc…  My first thought is not, where can I give this extra.  I know that Phoenix Rescue struggles to give Thanksgiving to hundreds of homeless and poor families here in Arizona, but that is not my first instinct.  I know that Samaritan’s purse reaches all across the world and operation Christmas Child is a big need this time of year.  But again, that is not my first choice.

This struggle is not unique.   Paul mentions the struggle in Romans 7:15 (NIV)  “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.”  Galatians 5:17 (NIV) “ For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature.  They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. 

Jesus went off to pray because He knew his crucifixion was imminent and He told the disciples, “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.” Matthew 26:41 (NIV)

By default, we choose things that satisfy our flesh and not our spirit.  We wage a constant battle with in ourselves between the spirit of God that lives in us and our human desires that we were born with.  It takes time to have the things of the spirit take precedence.  The longer we follow Christ, the better we get at winning the war, but the struggle never ends.    

I call my selfish nature, my internal Diva. That is the one that thinks I should be driving my new Camaro down to Kohl’s and using my thirty-percent off coupon.  The side that listens to the spirit takes the 2009 Hyundai that I am still making payments on to Wal-Mart to buy groceries.  Not that owning a Camaro is bad, but it depends on what your focus is on.  Should it be on our wants or the needs of others?  I have realized that my impulses are bad, so I should not act on them.  When I take time to stop and think, then the still small voice of the spirit can remind me what is really important in life and it has little to do with my car or my clothes.

Each of us struggles, but if we realize we are in a struggle, we have won half the battle.  I hope you agree with me that it is time to say, so long self.